The Restless Life — CJ Quartlbaum

Paul Robeson was a mountain of a man. He was an All American in college football, had a brief professional career (earning a Law degree from Columbia while doing so), an activist, and an actor. It seems as though Paul never stopped moving. He was a man of immeasurable gifts and talents. On some level, most of us dream of being that gifted. To have that sort of Midas touch where we succeed at everything we try.

But Paul had a bug. An innate fire that wouldn’t allow him to sit still. In the book Paul Robeson: No One Can Silence Me , there is a fascinating quote that gives a clue into his motivations:

“His father had trained him to believe that he must always do more and better. He could never quite believe that he’d done enough to allow him to retire with honor from the field.”

Paul couldn’t stop moving even if he wanted to. His worth and identity was determined by what he produced. While not nearly as talented or even as gifted at one thing as he was at many, I feel this. There is a constant need to do more and be more. I write this on nearly two straight weeks of sleeping five hours a night because I’m constantly up “doing more.”

Unsettled

There is something to be said about this level of restlessness. If you are feeling the need to constantly produce, finding your worth in what you do, then chances are you have misplaced your identity.

Finding your meaning and purpose in life through what you achieve is a never ending endeavor. There will always be more and thus life will become chasing a ghost. The reason we fight to make a name for ourselves with our accomplishments is because we don’t believe identity in Jesus is enough.

If you never accomplish another thing, is the title “Child of God” enough for you?

A lot of what lies behind the endless work is the fear of not being taken care of. It’s the fear that if we don’t go get it then God won’t provide it. It’s the fear that our lives will not have mattered aside from what we accomplished. We work ourselves to the bone chasing something to make us feel secure. But we find ourselves like Rockefeller, when asked how much money is enough? He responded with “a little more.”

Whatever it is we’re chasing, it will never be enough.

Resting

But what if we rested? Paul Robeson’s father trained him to always be working. Our Father trains us to live in His rest. God rested on the seventh day of creation not because He was tired but to model for us the healthiness of taking a break and trusting Him. Jesus takes this further and offers us rest in him.

Our rest is a sign of our trust in God. It is a sign of where we’ve placed our hope and identity. And when we rest, we learn something important: the world doesn’t end. If you’re up late all the time, constantly working off days, and can never turn it off; then you have to question where you’re placing your hope. Is it in the work you’re doing or who people will think you are because of that work?

Take the time to rest. It’s going to look differently for everyone so ask yourself, what does it look like for me to take a break? I’ve been trying to answer this question myself for a long time. I’m praying we can all find the rest that leads us into the arms of the Father because the alternative, the never ending grind, simply leaves us tired and broken in the end. The end of Paul Robeson’s life was marked by the dissatisfaction of a person who found all of their glory in what they did. The writer of Ecclesiastes reminds us that in the end, that is just vanity. Nothing but dust that we can’t take with us.

Originally published at https://www.cjquartlbaum.com on November 12, 2021.